Referrals and Notices

There are so many things to get me incensed these days when discussing this adoption. I don't even know where to begin some days. Around every corner there seem to be one more hurdle that we need to cross, one more thing to test our patience. It just all doesn't seem fair.

We have been waiting for 3.5 years now and if the trend continues, it doesn't look like this adoption will be completed until 2012 (a 6 year wait!). I don't know anyone who has learned more about patience than those of us in line to adopt a little girl or boy from China.

They did get through the next set of referrals - but it was only 3 days (2 of which were weekend days). NOT happy about that! 102 more log-in dates to go... Here's the official notice:

12/28/2009 CCAA

The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application  documents registered with our office before February 29, 2008.  The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before April 3, 2006.

Then there's this not-so-lovely announcement from the CCAA regarding an incident involving parents who raped their adopted little girl from China. While this incident is reprehensible, how can they blame one bad apple on the whole adoption system and the rest of us who are going to be amazing parents and give these children a loving home. Here's the announcement:

Announcement

Date of Release: December 22, 2009 　　Souce: CCAA

To relevant government departments and adoption agencies in receiving countries, Since China began working with relevant countries in inter-country adoption, the cooperation has been smooth and tens of thousands of Chinese children have been adopted by foreign families. The majority of them are growing healthily under the care and love of their adoptive parents. However, some media reported on December 14 about an American adoptive father who sexually abused his Chinese adoptive daughter, which have attracted broad attention and caused great shocks. Although this is a very rare case, it has caused negative effects on inter-country in China and is against the healthy development of inter-country adoption. As the agency entrusted by Chinese government in charge of inter-country adoption, China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) has always attached great importance to the protection of Chinese adoptive children’s rights and great attention to the children who have been adopted into foreign families. On December 16, CCAA met with the Consul-General of the American Embassy in China Ms. Linda Donahue and notified her about our position on this incident. President of relevant adoption agency also telephoned CCAA and expressed his apology. In order to guarantee the rights and interests of Chinese adoptive children and ensure the healthy and sustainable development in cooperation of inter-country adoption, CCAA plans to take the following measures: 1. CCAA will suspend the cooperation with relevant American agency and decide whether to continue cooperation with this agency depending on its treatment of this incident. 2. It is suggested that all the government departments and adoption agencies conduct a following-up research of all the children adopted from China. If problems turn up, relevant parties shall assist in the re-placement of the child affected and notify CCAA accordingly. It is also advised that government departments and adoption agencies do a good job in the post-placement following-up of adopted children in the future. 3. To learn a lesson from this incident, it is suggested that social workers of government departments and adoption agencies evaluate the eligibility of applicants factually and in details. Social workers shall not only evaluate quantifiable factors such as age, profession, education background, income etc., but also evaluate whether the applicants are loving parents and with good personalities, as reflected in feedbacks from schools, communities, churches, social groups, etc. so that the reports provided can serve as dependable reference for CCAA during the reviewing process. 4. CCAA will adjust the present post-placement reporting policies and improve this reporting system, after seeking opinions and comments from different parties, based on the new situation in inter-country adoption. 5. Depending on individual cases, CCAA will suspend or terminate cooperation with agencies that are involved in cases where adopted children’s interests and rights are harmed. Home study reports prepared by social workers who are involved in such cases as well as the social workers themselves will not be recognized by CCAA. Government departments and adoption agencies shall follow the principle of “everything for the children” and assist in relevant work to guarantee the protection of rights and interests of adopted children and maintain the cooperation in inter-country adoption. China Center of Adoption Affairs December 22, 2009

Sad State of Affairs...

It's a sad state of affairs for international adoption in general. China is no exception. As you will see in these charts below, the numbers of children being adopted internationally has dropped drastically, while the desire for these children has increased dramatically. So, here we are waiting not so patiently for our children to come home one day.  Since the Hague Convention took effect, many of the countries listed below are no longer open to International Adoption any more. It's just too sad for words. We're just trying to stay positive which is an increasingly more difficult thing to do every day...

Happy Hanukkah!

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah. Just want to wish our Jewish friends a Happy Hanukkah! Tomorrow night is the big family gathering. I think we're having 13 people. It's going to be a bit crazy! (but fun!)

First Blizzard of 2009

Well, it's December here in the Midwest, so that means cold and snow. It's beautiful to look at, unless of course you're the one who's shoveling (or snowblowing) it. On Wednesday, we go about 18 inches of snow overnight. The whole city of Madison was completely closed down - schools, workplaces, doctors offices, malls, everything... The only things going on were kids playing outside and the parents shoveling themselves out. It took Robert and I about 3 hours in the morning to clear our driveway and then another hour or two of Robert clearing away the snow around our mailbox and fire hydrant. Here are a few photos of the event.

This morning we awoke to a sundog - It was really cool. Lesson I learned today (Robert taught me this): A sundog is an atmospheric phenomenon that creates bright spots of light in the sky, often on a luminous ring or halo on either side of the sun.

Well, they finally did it!

Well, they finally finished off the March 2006 LIDs! Cause to celebrate!! I mean, it only took a year to get through the whole month of March 2006 Log-in dates. And this 3-day batch took them 2 months!

Here's the official notice. Only 105 more referral days to go until we're matched with our daughter. I just wish it would be sooner than later...

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before March 31, 2006.

Chinese Jews of Keifang

Check out this really cool Youtube video of the Chinese Jews from Kaifeng arriving in Israel in 2009. It's very moving.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edhtdoPukk0

It's Never Easy...

The holiday season is never easy for me. After almost 3.5 years of waiting and still no sign of our adoption being completed any time soon - it's just more difficult than I can even put into words. The latest delay is that it doesn't look like there will be any matches this month coming from the CCAA. Yes, I know that there is a new director that just took over, but he was promoted from within the CCAA. You would think that this wouldn't affect anything and that he would know the procedures. Or is there some other reason like the H1N1 virus the culprit? Who knows? This is China we're talking about! But then I have to think about the story of the turtle and the hare - and we are definitely the turtle in this story! But, as we all know the ending to the story - the slow, but sure, wins the race!

As usual, I delve into our now 3rd "Last Vacation before our Child" trip - I think this next one will be an Alaskan cruise. We shall see. It's still open for discussion (and our bank account). I wonder how many more "last trips" I'm going to have to plan? Hopefully, not too many more, but it's not looking too good. At this rate, it's looking like 2011 or 2012. UGH!!

Please send happy thoughts and wishes this way...

Happy Halloween!

Just wishing everyone a Happy Halloween!

Leaf Viewing

On Saturday afternoon, Robert took me up for a little leaf viewing to see the beautiful fall colors. We flew up to Devils Lake, WI to see the bluffs. It was quite beautiful. Here are a few photos from the flight.

The bluffs at Devil's Lake

The Wisconsin River

When??

Many of you ask me "when will you get your referral?" The answer is and has always been "about a year from now..." and that answer hasn't changed for years now. Scary, huh! The reason is that while we've all been expecting some sort of a "speed up" this just never seems to actually come to fruition. I am posting a few charts that I swiped off the "Rumor Queen" website to get a sense of when. Use the chart on the chart on the left if you believe the number of days being referred each month will be constant. The numbers on the top refers to the number of days each month that you estimate will be referred each month and look at that for an estimate as to when we'll get our daughter. Use the chart on the chart on the right if you think the number of babies being referred each month will be constant to best guess when we'll get our daughter. Our Log-in Date is 7-14-06.

So, now you understand... we have NO idea when... Time will tell. So, what is your guess??

Another Depressing Day

While referrals are on their way, they only matched through March 28, 2006. I had false hopes that they would finish off March 2006 as it took the CCAA 52 days to get through just 4 days of matches. This adoption is just taking too long and is wreaking havoc on my sanity. At this rate, we'll be lucky if we get our referral in 2010. I don't know how much more of this I can handle?! I need some good news in my life right now. 108 more referral days to go...

Here's the official notice:

10/12/09
CCAA


The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before March 28, 2006.

Delays, Delays, Always Delays...

I keep hoping each month that this is the month that things will start to "speed up" only to have my dreams dashed yet again. The CCAA is officially on holiday. They are out of the office October 1-8, 2009 due to the National Day and the Mid Autumn Festival. The CCAA did not mail matches prior to leaving for their holiday. So, here's to hoping that upon their return they will finish off the March 2006 matches and move us ever so much closer to our daughter. Please continue your prayers.

Chinese National Holiday

Today marks the 60th Anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China, a parade of military troops and equipment followed by tens of thousands of civilians streamed through Tiananmen Square as the entire country watched on television.

Here's a grouping of the front pages from some of the country's newspapers:

My 15 Seconds of Fame

Well, it's always nice to be recognized for doing good work. I've had Cafe Press stores for probably 1.5 years now and they've all raised money where 100% of the proceeds goes towards the Chinese adoption charities - Love Without Boundaries, Half the Sky and CCAI's charitable arm. It was really cool when I got this e-mail from Cafe Press that prominently used one of my designs (the alphabet poster) in their mass e-mail that went out. I was shocked and elated. It was just so nice to be recognized this way. A list of all of my CafePress stores are in the far right purple column. To date, I think I've raised around $500 that has been donated to these wonderful charities. Thanks to those who have purchased and in doing so, have supported these wonderful charities and children awaiting a family.

America's Coolest College Towns

Well, it looks like we live in one of this country's coolest college towns. Who knew?? (all this according to Travel & Leisure magazine) It is our alma mater...

Madison, WI (University of Wisconsin)

Like oases in deserts, college towns in the Midwest can be refreshing splashes of hustle and bustle amid the plains. The Wisconsin capital squeezes cafés, art galleries, and the César Pelli–designed Madison Museum of Contemporary Art onto an invigorating pedestrian-only thoroughfare. In warm weather, the museum’s roof is the setting for concerts and films. Elsewhere are found lively neighborhood block parties, like the Atwood Summerfest, which annually offers rock bands on multiple stages. And there’s no shortage of aquatic fun: the city is located on an isthmus between a pair of glittering lakes.

Local Taste: L’Etoile Restaurant is the region’s slow-food mecca.

San Francisco

We just got back from a lovely 5-day trip to San Francisco. This was so we could meet our new beautiful 3-month old twin nieces and to have a little mini-vacation for ourselves. We also got to see Robert's cousin and his best friend Matt who flew in for 5 hours just to see him. It was so nice to get away for a few days.

Here are a few photos from our trip.

Posing at the Golden Gate Bridge. There was some serious fog when we were there (and wind!)Here we are in Napa ValleyHere I am tasting and buying a lovely bottle of wine from Clos du Val winery. YUM!Our fun little convertible we traversed about town in. (I made them upgrade us as we had to wait 2 hours in line for our rental car. I felt it was the least they could do! Note to self: NEVER rent from Budget at SFO again!)
Sunset view from Robert's cousin's house in Oakland - amazing view of the Golden Gate BridgeHaving fun in Chinatown. This is a Chinese apothecary. Not sure what's she's mixing those for??Taking a walk in Muir woods to look at the Redwoods.Filoli Gardens
The "painted ladies" - beautiful Victorian homes
San Francisco trolley cars
Lombard Street - the crookedest street in the USA
Fisherman's Wharf - nothing beats a stinky seal!

Our New Neighbor

We seem to have acquired a new neighbor - not sure if it's Chip or Dale. He is in our backyard landscaping. Poor little guy is all scared.

August Referrals are in...

Well, it's another 2-day referral month. I try not to get too down on the number of days they referred this month as they were huge in terms of number of babies being matched, but it does get to you after a while. It sometimes seems like it's never going to happen. As soon as March referrals are over with I will hope for more days being matched. We shall see...

Here's the official notice:

The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before August 31, 2007.

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before March 24, 2006.

Thought for the Day

Well, as the years have passed, I've tried to stay positive on this whole adoption, which hasn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination. I'd like to share this wonderful quote from one of the Harry Potter movies, said by the character Albus Dumbledore.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Albus Dumbledore

If we could always find that light switch - even when we're at our deepest and darkest days, we'll always be able to find that glimmer of happiness. I just need to continue to find my "light" each and every day and remember that there is a wonderful little girl who is going to be my daughter one day.

Significance of 8s in Chinese Culture

Since today is 8/8, I thought I would do a little research into the significance of 8s in Chinese culture. This is what I've found on Wikipedia.

In Chinese culture, certain numbers are believed by some to be auspicious (吉利) or inauspicious (不利) based on the Chinese word that the number name sounds similar to. However some Chinese people regard these beliefs to be superstitions. Since the pronunciation and the vocabulary may be different in different Chinese dialects, the rules are generally not applicable for all cases.

Because of the supposed auspiciousness of certain numbers, some people will often choose, attempt to obtain, or pay large sums for numbers that are considered to be lucky for their phone numbers, street addresses, residence floor (in a multi-story building), driver's license number, vehicle license plate number, bank account number, etc.

Lucky numbers are based on Chinese words that sound similar to other Chinese words. The numbers 6, 8, and 9 are believed to have auspicious meanings because their names sound similar to words that have positive meanings.

Eight

The word for "eight" (八 Pinyin: bā) sounds similar to the word which means "prosper" or "wealth" (发 - short for "发财", Pinyin: fā). In regional dialects the words for "eight" and "fortune" are also similar, eg Cantonese "baat³" and "faat³".

There is also a visual resemblance between two digits, "88", and 囍, the "shuāng xĭ" ('double joy'), a popular decorative design composed of two stylized characters 喜 ("xĭ" meaning 'joy' or 'happiness').

A telephone number with all digits being eights was sold for USD$270,723 in Chengdu, China.

The opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics in Beijing began on 8/8/08 at 8 seconds and 8 minutes past 8 pm (local time)

A man in Hangzhou offered to sell his license plate reading A88888 for RMB 1.12 million (roughly $164,000 USD).

Dragon Fish Industry in Singapore, a breeder of rare Asian Arowanas (which are "lucky fish" themselves, and, being a rare species, are required to be microchipped), makes sure to use numbers with plenty of eights in their microchip tag numbers, and appears to reserve particular numbers especially rich in eights and sixes (e.g. 702088880006688) for particularly valuable specimens.

The value of eight could also be linked with buddhism and the meaning of Lotus flower (eight petals)

Bird in our backyard

If you saw this bird, what kind would you think he is?

We thought that what we had was some sort of an unusual and exotic bird. Turns out, after much research on Robert's part, that it's just an ordinary cardinal in the process of molting. Who knew?! He certainly looks odd, doesn't he.

Seven Years of Marital Bliss

Well, to quote my friend Jen: "Seven's Heaven" and indeed it has been.

I've been married for seven of the most wonderful years to the best husband in the world! I couldn't have asked for more. I feel a lucky woman to have him in my life. He's my best friend. We've traveled the world, gone flying on airplanes, shared many "date nights" and have shared many laughs.

This morning, I awoke to a beautiful bouquet of roses and a handmade card. He's a keeper, for sure! A romantic at heart...

July Matches are in!

It's official. July matches are in! Two more big referral days checked off! Only 114 more referral days to go. Here's the official posting from the CCAA.

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before March 22, 2006.

3 Year Anniversary

It’s hard to imagine that today is our 3rd anniversary of our Log-In Date in China. We certainly never expected to reach this milestone. But, alas we have… I am a firm believer in the philosophy that things happen for a reason, even if we’re not sure what that reason is at the time when it’s happening. So, I have to think that this wait is teaching and preparing us for this wonderful child that we get to call our daughter.

During our wait, we’ve taken lots of wonderful vacations (each one was supposed to be our “last one before our child”) and Robert was able to get his private pilot license (this would have been harder/impossible with a child at home). I have even gotten to meet some of my July 2006 CCAI chat group - some of whom we'll be traveling with in China - Yeah!

I strongly feel that we are on the downhill now awaiting our daughter’s referral. I am optimistic that around this time next year, we’ll be holding a referral in our hands and sharing with you her beautiful face.

I look forward to the day.

Happy Anniversary to us!

Waiting

Waiting
By Karen Cooper

I haven't met you yet or seen your face,
but in my heart you hold a place.
My hopes grow with each passing day,
even though you're miles away.
I know you're there waiting for me,
As I am here waiting to see,
the child God has sent from above,
to make me a mother and share all my love.

Nashville Get-Together

Well, after close to 3 years of waiting for our daughter and about 2.5 years of "chatting" daily over the internet, we decided we needed to meet face-to-face. There are about a dozen of us who have become very close since our chat group started in January 2007. As the wait has become longer and longer, we have become closer and closer. There were 5 of us who met for the weekend (Autumn and family surprised us for lunch on Friday) These ladies are all logged-in during July 2006 and using the same agency as we are, so many of them may actually get to travel to China with us (I do hope it's all of them - it's going to be hard to not have them nearby for support). We have become eachother's support system - getting through the good and the bad days that we all have. I am very lucky to have them all!

Here are a few snapshots of the weekend

Our Hotel: Gaylord Opryland Hotel


The "Ma Ma Sisterhood" (the name we call our little group)
Charity, Beth, Lori, Autumn, Sue, and Cary


The whole gang including kids and dads


Eating dinner at the Rainforest Cafe

Charity and I


Cary and I onstage at the Ryman Auditorium (the original Grand Ole Opry)

Pink Ladybug Sighting!

In the Chinese adoption community, a ladybug sighting is a sign your referral is quickly approaching. To help things along, I've added another store to my CafePress line-up. I decided I needed some cute pink ladybugs (and a speed-up in the referral process!).

100% of all proceeds go to support the needs of Chinese children who are waiting to be adopted through such charities as Love Without Boundaries, Half the Sky Foundation, and CCAI's charities.

http://www.cafepress.com/pinkladybugshop